My Town, My Take

My Town, My Eyes

2008-07-11T08:10:00.000-05:00

So I've been waiting to blog about my lasik experience until I could look back objectively. I think I'm far enough removed now to describe my experience without using too many profanities. For the faint of heart, I suggest you stop reading. This post is pretty graphic.

First, the surgery went fine and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Being able to live without contacts or glasses is wonderful. My eyesight gets a little wacky every once in a while and my eyes tend to get tired in the evening but I'm told that's normal for the first few weeks.

The day of the surgery I was nervous. They run a bunch of you through one after the other so you're sitting in a waiting room with people who are in the same boat as you. In my case I was sitting across from a prominent TV news personality who was just in front of me on the schedule. They call you back in 20 minute intervals to a prep area where you are fitted with a surgical gown, cap and booties. They give you a half milligram of Valium and some ibuprofen to take the edge off and put you in a recliner to hang out until the drugs take effect. TV news guy gave me a nod and a "hello" in a manner that told me he was feeling pretty good. Unfortunately for me I have a very high tolerance to most sedative-type drugs so giving me a Valium did about as much good as a sugar pill. In fact, by the time the nurse came to get me I was jiggling my legs like a preschooler who just finished off a box of Cocoa Puffs.

So TV news guy gets taken back to surgery and was back very quickly. He seemed none the worse for wear and gave me a sort of "it's not so bad" look as they ushered him back to his recliner. So they take me back to the operating room where they ask you to state your name and which eye(s) is being operated on. After that there's no messing around. You're on your back on the table and they're taping your eye wide open with four strips of medical tape and putting anesthetic drops in. Then comes the CLAMP.

First some explanation. Your eye has to remain absolutely motionless during the laser procedure. Since a normal person is not able to keep their eye still while someone smokes it with a laser, they place a jig that literally clamps on to your eyeball. Only one problem. To your average person who is whacked out on Valium this amounts to about as much discomfort as a tap on the shoulder. To someone like me with full awareness of what was going on it felt like... Well, it felt like someone was putting a clamp on my eyeball! As I attempted to rip the cover off the operating table and refrain from using the kind of language reserved for hitting your thumb with a hammer, I felt several pairs of hands holding me still. I'm pretty sure at that point they all realized I wasn't a drugged-out Valium-type guy.

After the shock of the clamp, everything else was a breeze. First Doctor Silverstein explained that I would briefly lose my vision. He didn't explain "why" but I knew from research that they were making the incision for "the flap." That only took a few seconds. Then the laser began. It was nothing more than a seeing a bunch of tiny red dots dancing around in your vision. It was almost soothing compared to the medieval torture device clamped to my eye. Of course something else they don't prepare you for is the smell. Ever get a whiff of burning eyeball?

Each eye took four minutes total from clamp on to clamp off. I was much more prepared for the second eye since I knew what was coming. Tape, drops, clamp, internal swearing, temporary blindness, light show, "what's that smell?" and then done.

So it's been three weeks and my eyes are doing great. I see perfectly and even my closeup vision has improved to the point where I don't have to ask Nicole to read fine print for me. I know reading glasses are still in my future but it seems I have delayed the inevitable for now.

The people at Silverstein Eye Center were fantastic. Aside from the whole "not telling me about the clamp" thing which really wasn't their fault. How were they to know I need a horse tranquilizer to get me in the mood for eyeball clamps? If you want to ditch your glasses and contacts it's definitely the way to go.

So who's in?

2008-07-09T09:16:00.002-05:00

Sorry for not posting in so long. Eyeballs getting lasered, dog getting an emergency operation... Usual stuff.

Last night we had a nice visit with friends and of course the subject turned to local politics. Some nice juicy rumors were bandied about. Mostly rumors about who is running for mayor of KC in 2011. It may seem early to the average voter, but trust me I found out the hard way that testing the waters three years ahead of time makes you late to the game. As I began the lunch circuit meeting with potential supporters I kept hearing the same names of people who were already "in." If three years out is late to the game then there must already be some serious jockeying going on as potential candidates begin to assemble their teams.

Word on the street is the crop of mayoral candidates this time around may be even bigger than the last. I consistently hear two names in the mayoral hunt. Albert Reiderer and Sylvester "Sly" James. Of course these are only rumors so we all know how much that is worth.

I'm curious though. What have you heard?

So I'm going to get lasered

2008-06-12T09:58:00.002-05:00

I've made the appointment. June 20th is the big day. Silverstein Eye Centers is going to perform lasik surgery on me. I'm going to have both eyes done the same, instead of the weird one eye farsighted one eye nearsighted thing that most people get. I tried that arrangement with contacts and ended up wanted to run around in circles. Not to mention the headaches.

So both eyes will be just like they are right now when I'm wearing contacts. Only one problem. At 41 years of age I've reached the stage that apparently most people get. The inability of my eyes to refocus on things close up. Yep. It's bifocal time. Up until now I've compensated. When I'm wearing my fashionably skinny glasses I just look under the lenses to read, or over the lenses to see someone's face clearly. When I'm wearing my contacts I usually have Nicole with me to do things like tell me the amount of the restaurant check or what the fine print on the menu says.

After next Friday, looking out from under my glasses will no longer be an option. It's time for the dreaded reading glasses. Yep. I'm about to become "that guy." Do I get the ones that can be carried in a discrete pocket case, or do I just break down and wear them on a string around my neck?

Or... Maybe I'll get a monocle! Then I can walk around shaking my fist and saying "Hoogaaaaannnn!" in my best Colonel Klink voice.

I'm just plain mad

2008-06-05T09:28:00.002-05:00

I'm too mad to write anything on thekansascitypost.com. I try to keep the level of discussion fairly high over there. Here? Not so much. My Town, My Take is more like my scratch pad with which all two readers (myself being one of them) can keep track of my mental detritus.

By now, anybody with an internet connection has at least read some of the lawsuit filed against Mark Funkhouser and Gloria Squitiro. I know in law, as in life the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle. Perhaps not every claim in Plaintiff Ruth Bates' pleading is accurate, but I doubt the entire document is a complete fabrication either. The document does read like the complaints of a disgruntled employee and I'm reasonably sure that had Ms. Bates compensation been on par with the rest of the staff she would still be overlooking off-color remarks and the general lack of class displayed by our city's most prominent volunteer.

I do however tend to believe the general theme of the document. One need only look at samples of Ms. Squitiro's writing to see her sense of humor is somewhat "earthy." Between holiday letters describing the mayor's prostate exam and innuendo about their sex life, to weekly missives blaming every mayoral misstep on bloggers or the media, it's easy to see a pattern of inappropriate behavior for a public figure.

Another clue about the veracity of Ms. Bates' complaint is the attorney representing her and the manner in which the complaint was filed. Instead of holding a press conference, standing on the courthouse steps with a teary-eyed client exclaiming outrage and righteous indignation, Lynn Bratcher chose to file the documents over the lunch hour and slip quietly back to her office. Quiet confidence perhaps? A quick Google search reveals Ms. Bratcher is no rookie when it comes to employee discrimination cases so I think it's safe to assume she thinks she has a winner.

So why am I mad? I'm sick of Kansas City being the punch line to every joke. The only national attention we get these days is from inappropriate holiday letters and now no doubt a sensational lawsuit that makes our Mayor's office sound more like a fraternity house about to lose its charter than a center of governmental excellence.

Oh, and by the way. The answer to last week's trivia question? "The Little Twinkler."

KC Trivia: The Kansas City Star

2008-05-21T08:05:00.003-05:00

Shortly after it began publishing in 1880, what became the nickname of The Kansas City Star?

They're going to use a "laser" on my eyes!

2008-05-20T07:50:00.005-05:00

Listening to sports radio a few weeks ago I heard a promotion for Silverstein Eye Center and how they were having a contest in partnership with Sports Radio 810 and the winner would receive free lasik surgery. They gave the website to go to and since I had my laptop on my lap of all places I went to the site and entered.

I've been thinking about eye surgery for a long time. The problem is I'm a big fraidy cat when it comes to cutting my eyeballs and burning them with lasers. I figured when I entered the contest I would let fate decide. After all, what were the chances I would win a contest for a prize worth four thousand dollars? I noted the winner would be announced May 10th which was when I would be on a Midwest Air flight to Florida. I gave all my information and then quickly forgot about it. I thought even if I did win they wouldn't be able to reach me and would probably give the prize to someone else.

Well, wouldn't you know it, I won! Free lasik surgery. I called to make sure this wasn't one of those deals where everyone "wins" and then they try to upcharge you to a "better" surgery. I was assured that wasn't the case and I was the only winner. I said I must be the most hesitant, mixed-emotions contest winner ever.

So now what? I managed to come up with excuses not to call and schedule yesterday. A week's worth of work email does tend to occupy your day. But today? In the time it took to write this post I could have made the phone call. Looks like I'm stuck.

Tanned and rested. Ready? Not so much...

2008-05-19T08:37:00.003-05:00

Both this blog and thekansascitypost.com went silent last week. That's because I was on vacation on beautiful little Captiva Island off the gulf coast of Florida. No sight-seeing. No bicycle rides through the nature preserve. Just a lot of laying around. Laying around the pool. Laying around the beach. Laying around the hotel room. As Peter said in the movie Office Space, "I did nothing, and it was everything I dreamed it would be."

Stump the chumps

2008-05-02T10:00:00.002-05:00

I'm a sports fan. I love the fact that I have two sports radio stations to choose from when I'm driving around town (which is rare because I work from home). Fridays on 810 is my favorite. Stump The Chumps. Pete Enich is a sports history freak of nature. I've heard him argue down an obstinate caller claiming they have the web page right in front of them that proves so-and-so started the whatever game in 1967. Pete can invariably come back with "I don't care what your website says, I was at the game."

Today's trivia question is sports in honor of the 810 gang.

In the 1970's what Royals pitcher would enter the game with John Denver's "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" blasting over the stadium PA? And by the way, I know this because I was usually "at the game."

One of the best paragraphs on KC politics I've ever read

2008-05-02T09:23:00.003-05:00

Tony Botello over at tonyskansascity.com wrote a piece about the mayor running afoul of the very powerful firefighters union. AKA Taxpayers ~~Anonymous~~ Correction: Taxpayers Unlimited. Here's the money quote:

People who don't know much about Kansas City politics might not understand that this town isn't ruled by Democracy per se, instead local government is mostly elected by a series of special interest groups and voting blocs led by people who do the thinking for their constituents in much the same way that Oprah and Fox News do the vast majority of the mental heavy lifting when it comes to their massive audiences. [Source]

That pretty much nails it. There's no such thing as the citizen activist making it to City Hall for the good of the people anymore. You have to "pay your dues" by navigating the insular club of Jackson County Dems. Fail to lock up the unions and their considerable financial clout and you're done. You have to get the Citizens Association, it helps to line up the Womens Political Caucus and don't forget the Four Freedoms Democratic Club. These were lessons I learned the hard way.

I foolishly thought that a grass roots effort, coupled with a sound internet strategy could overcome the six figure budgets and multiple snail mail pieces that bombard people's mailboxes. I was wrong of course. Very, very wrong! The sad state of affairs is this is how our local government is made.

I will grudgingly concede the possibility that maybe I lost simply because I wasn't the best candidate for the job. Even if that was the case, it makes me wonder. If all things were equal. If an in-district city council race was limited to a budget of $10,000 and a maximum of two mailings, what would the makeup of our city council look like? Would it be vastly different? Would it be filled with fresh-faced newcomers who have yet to be jaded by the Jackson County political machine? It does make you wonder...

Will the cycle ever be broken?

Oh, and by the way. The answer to yesterday's trivia question? The Sears Automotive Center. Thanks for playing.

Something new: Kansas City Trivia

2008-05-01T10:26:00.002-05:00

I can't bring myself to let this blog die. Sure I have thekansascitypost.com but it doesn't really lend itself to brain spewing like an informal blog does.

I'm a child of the 70's which means I remember learning my telephone number as Clifton-2-7833. I remember the Standard Improvement commercials when they were new, and not retro-cool. Call Standard... bum ba bum ba bum... Im prove ment comp nee at Westport one seven one hundred.

Anyhoo, when Trivial Pursuit came out a local entrepeneur came out with a set of Kansas City cards dealing with local trivia. For the most part they were pretty weak. The answer to every other question was "Harry Truman" or "Tom Pendergast." I still have that set of cards. Some of the questions are pretty good. They've inspired me to throw out an occasional trivia question on this blog. Some will be from the old cards. Some will be mine.

Today's installment:

What was formerly located at the present-day "Penguin Court" on the Plaza?

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

2008-04-30T13:22:00.002-05:00

Swiss chemist Dr. Albert Hoffman passed away today. In 1938 while developing medicines from compounds in ergot, a fungus that attacks rye, he discovered Lysergic Acid Diethylamide - LSD. His first trip was accidental having absorbed some of the compound through his skin. His subsequent trips, of which he admitted there were probably hundreds, were not so accidental.

Did he die from a lethal overdose? Residual drug use complications? Perhaps. He did have a heart attack. Then again, the fact that he was 102 years old might have had something to do with it.

My town, my aches

2008-04-28T12:36:00.004-05:00

It's been a long time since I've thrown anything up here. According to my last entry my doctor had solved my hip problem and I was back running. Unfortunately that proved not to be the case and I've since been undergoing weeks of painful physical therapy to try and break things loose. Apparently I have some sort of myafacial-something-or-other that means all my muscles, tendons and ligaments in my hip are all bound up.

Fortunately I've been seeing a great chiropractor who has been employing Active Release Technique. Think of it as assisted stretching. The result kind of looks like the old All-Star wrestling matches where the one guy on the mat was being contorted into some painful position and he was grimacing and pounding the mat with his fist. Good times. It seems to be working and I'm at least able to take the dog for short walks and even jog around the block a few times. Progress comes in slow increments.

So with warm weather coming (hopefully) maybe I'll be back on the road again. This time for real. Look for me on the streets. I'll be the guy running very, very slowly.

Back on the road again

2008-01-07T14:30:00.000-06:00

What a time to take a break! I remember actually having the discussion about how nice it has been without all the stupidity at City Hall showing up in the newspaper every day. Little did I know a holiday letter was circulating that would fire things back up for the new year.

In the interest of communing with the "regular folk" I thought I would describe my own medical examination I had a couple of days after Christmas. Safe for work. No animals were harmed during the creation of this post.

I haven't been able to run for weeks. The pain in my left hip had reached a point that walking was pretty much out of the question too. Finally I went to see a doctor. He asked me a few questions, nodded knowingly and then proceeded to explain to me about the "bursa sack" that surrounds your hip joint. Fortunately I was fully clothed as he approached me with sausage-sized fingers. Also fortunately my wife wasn't there. We're just not into that kind of thing. The doctor poked and prodded around my leg, my lower back. Finally he zoomed in for the kill and pressed right on my hip bone. My eyes didn't bulge, but I'm told the color drained from my face with amazing rapidity! "Yep!" he exclaimed. "Looks like good ol' bursitis."

So now I'm on some anti-inflammatories and today I am happy to report I logged my first miles since late November. It's good to be back!

Gift idea for your little tree hugger. Or nerd, Or both!

2007-12-17T08:31:00.000-06:00

This is the H-Racer. A real hydrogen fuelcell car. It even comes with a solar powered hydrolizer to make hydrogen out of water. Give your kid one of these and they'll grow up to ask why are we burning nasty petroleum products?

It's not so bad

2007-12-11T10:44:00.000-06:00

Maybe it's too early to declare victory. I hope not. As far as ice storms go this one barely counts. At least in my neighborhood.

Last night I drifted off to a fitful sleep to the sound of electric transformers shorting out. I was not happy. We lost power for three miserable days back in 2002. I wasn't looking forward to going through that again. My next door neighbor has an electric generator that he placed on the side of his house underneath my bedroom window. Three days of what sounded like a wood chipper idling outside my window. Yesterday afternoon he was out tuning it up. Good times.

Fortunately the storm did not hit as hard as I'd feared. My power is still on and my neighbor's generator remains silent. I feel very lucky today.

Who are you?

2007-12-10T17:24:00.000-06:00

I was in Silicon Valley last week. Working for a high tech company affords me the opportunity to travel to the motherland every now and then. This time I stayed in the Doubletree in San Jose. Right by the airport.

If you don't know your way around San Jose it can be very difficult. They're not real big on street signs out there. Maybe they realize it's not necessary because the commercial real estate firms take care of it for them. You could hop from "For Lease" sign to "For Lease" sign without touching the ground. "For Lease, 1609 Technology Way" "For Lease, 1611 Technology Way..." Things have not bounced back from the Dot Com bust.

With all the empty office space outside, you wouldn't know there has been a downturn once you walk into the hotel. Cisco Systems was having some big corporate pep rally in several of the ball rooms, and a company called Set Top Box was there too. The uniform of the day was khakis and a belt holster Blackberry. As I made my way to the elevators I became aware that everyone I passed was very interested in me and my luggage. On the elevator going up to my room, one guy was very blatant about reading my luggage tags! I figured it out at that point. In the Valley if you're not wearing a corporate logo shirt, or corporate logo jacket or you don't have corporate logo luggage tags you must be up to no good or a complete nobody. I'm not big on corporate wear, especially as a fashion statement.

Maybe next time I'll make up some creative luggage tags.

Cellphone Lunacy

2007-11-28T10:25:00.000-06:00

I'm obsessive about not being "that guy" when it comes to cellphone etiquette. I always put my ringer on silent when I'm in public. I don't take calls at the table in a restaurant, and if I absolutely have to answer I leave the room or the establishment.

On my weekly trips to the allergist I witness all sorts of annoying cellphone behavior in the waiting room. My two favorites? Pulling a loudly ringing phone out of your purse and staring at the display while you decide whether to answer. In the mean time the rest of us are left to contemplate why some middle-aged JoCo house frau has Rick James' 'Superfreak' as her ringtone. And to think when I was a teenager I thought my parents were embarrassing. My other favorite is of course the elevated volume conversation letting the rest of us know that Amber has mono and Josh won't be home for dinner because he has soccer practice. I've heard some disturbing information about peoples' private lives just because I had the misfortune of being in the same room with them when their cellphone rang. There's just some things I can get through my day without having to hear.

Today I laughed out loud when I read that some judge in New York snapped over a ringing cell phone and threw everybody in jail. Not funny to the poor people in his courtroom, but it was only a matter of time. Maybe this judge can come wrangle the waiting room at my allergist.

You know you're a nerd when...

2007-11-13T09:04:00.000-06:00

You're scrolling through your news and click through on an article with this title:

Penn State Researchers Develop Efficient Microbial Electrolysis Cell for Hydrogen Production from a Range of Organic Substances

I really need to get out more...

File this one under "Holy Crap!"

2007-11-08T08:44:00.000-06:00

I'll stick with good ol' lead paint thank you very much.

NEW YORK (CNN) -- U.S. safety officials have recalled about 4.2 million Chinese-made Aqua Dots bead toys that contain a chemical that has caused some children to vomit and become comatose after swallowing them. Scientists have found the popular toy's coating contains a chemical that, once metabolized, converts into the toxic "date rape" drug GHB, or gamma-hydroxy butyrate, U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission spokesman Scott Wolfson told CNN.

Also recalled were the slightly less popular "Kiddie Good-Time Rave Kit" and the "That's My Smack!" board game.

Full story here.

More Electronic Voting Troubles

2007-11-06T12:22:00.000-06:00

I thought today's vote would be a slam dunk for using the electronic voting machine. Two issues, only one other voter in the precinct, this should be easy right?

So I ask for an electronic ballot while my neighbor went the "old-fashioned" route. She went to the table, marked two circles and left. I stood at the machine while the election worker fumbled with the key card. Insert card... Punch punch punch. Look perplexed. Realize the card is in upside down. Reinsert card... Punch punch punch. Look more perplexed. Tentatively insert the card into the voting machine. Wait for screen to change. Receive bright red message, "Card not accepted."

So much for technology.

Ladybug Lore

2007-11-05T08:17:00.000-06:00

Ladybugs have been swarming in my back yard the last few days. I'm not talking a few. I mean hundreds! I've never seen this happen before so it made me wonder if something strange was going on. This left me wishing I could quickly find out something about ladybugs. If only I had an easy way to look up information. Some sort of a portal to etymological data. Maybe if my computer could talk to someone else's computer? Or a bunch of computers? They could all be connected around the world in an electronic web. A world wide web if you will...

So I looked up "ladybugs swarming" and learned some things. Ladybugs are not indigenous to North America. They're actually called the Asian Lady Beetle among other things. I already knew they are a desirable bug that feeds on garden pests. I also knew they were harmless to humans. And the swarming? Apparently they're just looking for a place to hang out over the winter. They like cliffs back home, but since there aren't that many cliffs around here, they choose the southern side of your house.

So I spent my Sunday afternoon weatherproofing our back door, covered in orange bugs. My arms, my neck, my face. I probably looked like some character from a B-movie horror flick. It's crazy ladybug man! He's come for your aphids...

You're killin' me Star 102

2007-11-02T11:36:00.000-05:00

I've been in a dark mood this week. I guess I got off on the wrong foot Monday morning and haven't recovered since.

I heard a couple of days ago that Star 102 has started playing Christmas music. Just for an experiment I decided to flip on the radio and see what a little Christmas music would do for me... Bad idea.

To comment, or not to comment...

2007-11-01T10:10:00.000-05:00

I've had some inquiries as to why I turned moderation on both here and TheKansasCityPost.com. Very simple. Stress relief! It seems there's one or two "coward behind the keyboard" types out there who revel in making anonymous personal attacks. Rather than wake in the morning to find abusive and nonsensical comments and debate with myself whether to delete them, I decided to shut down any anonymous coward who would use my bandwidth to vent their obsessive opinions.

I've also stopped reading comments on other blogs. I still make Tony's Kansas City a daily read, but since I stopped reading the comments about a month ago I've found myself much more at peace. People can be as hateful as they want, I'm just not going to read about it! I marvel at how Tony can deal with the things people write, and even threaten.

So thank you (all two of you) who have emailed expressing concern and wondering what's going on. Feel free to comment, or not... I have found it much more gratifying to meet someone in real life who says "I read your blog" anyway!

In the end, a blog is for the author and anything you choose to do in life should be a positive.

But... But... Where will I park?!

2007-10-31T14:57:00.000-05:00

London 2012 Olympics the first to be "car-free"

Eight million people are expected at the London 2012 Olympics but their cars are not invited. The 2012 games will be car free, a first for the Olympics, with the only options for transport between the venues 1) walking, 2) biking or 3) public transport. The "car exclusion zones" include parts of London, Birmingham, Manchester, Newcastle, Glasgow, Cardiff, and Weymouth and Portland in Dorset.

With 800,000 people expected to converge on venues in a day, one organizer described it as the "country's largest peacetime logistical operation." The organizers expect the ban on cars to extend to other events in the future. Hugh Sumner, the ODA transport director, said "We want to leave both a hard legacy in terms of infrastructure and a living legacy in the way people think about transport and about how they travel to sports and cultural events."

The organizers don't even want to encourage driving to edge of the car free zones. Plans were scrapped for two park-and-ride sites on the M25 and M11. Even the handicapped will only be allowed a limited number of parking spots outside of the car exclusion zones. Hugh says "We want to accelerate the shift to public transport and cycling that we have seen in London in recent years. ... We will make it very plain to people that there isn't going to be parking."

The organizers are giving detailed information on how to get to the events with the ticket order and updated information will be sent to cell phones. Organizers will help in getting to the games car free by giving out all-zones travel card and discounted, flat-rate rail tickets. Don't feel too bad for the people that decide to brave the first car free Olympics. The gap between the trains at the London 2012 Olympics will be 13.87 seconds. For two months around the games, 80,000 people in the "Olympic Family" (athletes, officials and media), get their own lane, called "Zil Lanes" on major routes in London.

[Source: AutoBlogGreen]

Bummer

2007-10-12T09:07:00.000-05:00

Late last night I was taking the recycling to the curb and I saw something I haven't seen for a long time... My breath.

It's hard to believe another summer has come and gone. The days are getting shorter. The nights are getting colder, and I... am... bummed.